


Completely Relaxed (HasturxLigur-Dagon-Beelzebub)

by SinScrivener



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: M/M, Marijuana, References to Drugs, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:15:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22119235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SinScrivener/pseuds/SinScrivener
Summary: The best way I can BEGIN to explain 'relaxed' feeling for me anyway is falling under anesthesia, that slow cloudy blanket of happy numb heavinessSoooo… Imagine Hastur and Ligur in such a state, maybe they ate a super big meal, maybe they 'danced' a bit too much the night before, hell, both-MAYBE IT'S THE FLOWER POWER ERA?!Who knows, anyway their found by their Lord Beelzebub and Duke Dagon after being no-shows to work and get a bit more than they bargained for-Though for such violent Demons it's mesmerizing how tender and slow they act in such a state!Last note: God's I LOOOOVE anesthesia, even when I wake and find missing body parts or weird shit added in! Fuck yeeees, take all my shit let me DIE by that shit!!! (I think I've gone under to many damn times)Real last note: I laugh, eat, then sleep myself Bois, that's what I do, the pain just goes away and it's the first time I EVER feel good and wanna live~
Relationships: Hastur & Ligur (Good Omens), Hastur/Ligur (Good Omens)
Kudos: 1





	Completely Relaxed (HasturxLigur-Dagon-Beelzebub)

"Their late!" Lord Beelzebub spoke darkly as the broken clock upon the wall still chimed twelve, the meeting starting and two bodies were missing from the room!

Duke Dagon clicked their sharp teeth before tapping a few files stacked upon the table their Lord sat at, "Shall we drop in and see how they are then, my disgraceful Lord?"

"You know their whereabouts too, Dagon?" Lord Beelzebub asked surprised, looking at her right hand Duke and saw the flare of pride light their face as they purred, "A Lord of Files MUST know where everything is, my Lord~ Including job slacking snogging Lurkers!"

"Pppff, zzznoggerzz, adorable title!" Their Lord buzzed and Dagon swelling up with even more pride followed the short Prince out of the meeting room and off to the lift and up to the Above where indeed both knew where they'd find said, 'job slacking snogging Lurkers!'

-

Such slackers were indeed where their Lord Beelzebub and Duke Dagon would find them. They called it their Home away from Hell, it was a well forgotten cemetery down a ways from Tadfiled, the 'Home' being in a large stone mausoleum.

The 'heat' of last night and the feasts they had before it had collided and the results were Hastur and Ligur laying in a half aware heap upon one another as the Earth outside grew lighter with the afternoon sun.

Both Demons had not a single care in the world, in Heaven, nor even in Hell! They lay under their jackets, naked, marked from hickeys to bloody bite marks.

Bags so large mimicked Hasturs dune speckled desert wings when unfurled, but they did not care~

They were full, they were oh so very content~

They even smiled when they felt known Demons close by their Hole. Their scents filled their noses, Dagon and Beelzebub, what a nice surprise~

"Oi ya bloody, OH DEAR SATAN BELOW!" Dagon began then backed off when the fish like Duke found the male Demons halfway under the jackets, naked, and enjoying the breeze coming in from the entrance of the mausoleum.

"Lord, please, their not decent!" Dagon began then groaned, hand over their face as their Lord tried next and soon returned with a baffled look upon their normally emotionless face.

"I zzzzeem to have forgotten the dayzzzz, Dagon!" They buzzed and Dagon sniffed the air before snorting with a shake of their ginger head, "Seems to be Spring, my Disgusting Lord…"

"They do thizzz often?" Beelzebub asked, hitching as thumb back towards the males in the stone structure and Dagon mulled it over before coming to an answer, "Seeing how off they are, maybe not that often?"

They peeked inside again and found the males as they had been, clothesless, but now calmly grooming each other, whispering sweet nothings to one another nearly making Dagon vomit as they caught some of their words, 'My handsome toad~' 'Nastiest demon alive~' 'Light of my soul~' 'Keeper of mine~'

"Shuuuut uppppp you bastards!" Dagon groaned only to get the twos attention upon them and addressed as such, "Just because you have no mate doesn't mean you can come here and ruin our nights romping!"

"You were late for work, you over indulged, what do you have to say for yourselves?" Beelzebub asked tartly to the two inside the structure only to get a lazy return from Hastur, "Oops?" 

"OOOOOPS?" Dagon snapped and threw themselves inside the stone mausoleum, wings out, fins flared, sharp teeth bared in rage.

"All you can say to our Lord is OOOPS?! You sorry excuses for DUKES let alone DEMONS!"

Ligur just yawned, tongue like a hellhounds out before he shook himself, neither male even phased by the right hand Duke before them in all their enraged glory.

"What is WRONG with you bloody idiots?" Dagon snarled, body checking both yet still not getting even a flinch nor blink.

Hastur cleaned a raw looking blood mark upon Ligurs neck as Ligur stretched contently under his mates tending.

"Holy Hell, you two sure indulge in comfort up here!" Dagon noticed in shock, spying the furthest reaches of the Hole and seeing blankets, pillows, clothes, and more scattered in a single resting slot behind the males.

The two males must have crawled out of their night nest naked as newborns and chosen their jackets alone as cover to enjoy the morning and afternoon breeze before their Lord and Dagon arrived!

Hastur cracked his whole self, purring in pleasure as Ligur nodded, "Ya, we change it out, furs will soon replace clothes~" Then he rumbled as Hasturs neck was the last to pop and licked his partner under the chin, "That sounded pleasant~"

"Sure felt it!" Was Hasturs reply as Dagon just stared at the undemonic living space before them.

Were those shines hanging upon the upper ceiling of the structure? And..BONES?

Behind them came Beelzebub, the silence of Dagons previous rage was concerning and thus they followed them inside and too found their two most violent Duke's living in an almost lap of luxury like state Above!

"You've gone native!" Beelzebub whispered, icy eyes huge, fly cap nearly falling off their head.

Both Lord and Duke shielded their faces as Hastur and Ligur rose up fully, naked forms front and center, indecent but uncaring. With a slow, leisurely pace, both males just found their discarded lower clothes and put them on, underdrawers, pants, and shirts. No shoes, gloves, not even jackets! Just, the bare minimum!

"What is WRONG with them?" Beelzebub hissed to Dagon as both turned as with a swift check by Dagon, noticed both were presentable and began again to try and puzzle over this masterpiece of confusion.

Not only did neither male not give a single shit that their LORD stood before them, no bowing, no wings out, nothing in the way of submission, but the very indecency they showed not just before, not just a second ago, but as they puzzled!

There they sat, dressed, grooming each other like love sick mortals, nosing each other, laughing warmly, purring, just, WHAT?

"Heeeello, Earth to some of Hells DUKES?" Dagon barked before waving a hand before their faces each.

Neither really cared. Neither seemed to notice. 

Something seemed to possess them though, causing Dagon to shield their Lord as both Duke's fell sideways as the two started rubbing their faces upon the things around them.

The smell that hit both Lord and Duke caused them to bolt, leaving Hastur and Ligur alone to finish their...whatever!

"Are they trying to keep us out, do you think, Lord?" Dagon asked, baffled.

"No, it's scenting, their marking, they want to smell like each other!"

"They don't ALREADY?" Dagon yelped before curling their lips as the males ventured outside, the smell punching both in the face.

"Satan have you no shame?" Dagon asked disgusted as Hastur and Ligur even outside carelessly nosed each other, nuzzled, and laughed about nothing!

Their behavior was strange. Pieces began to click into place within Lord Beelzebubs head as the two brushed faces together and laughed about absolutely nothing, no one had even SPOKEN and yet-

"Whaaat did you two...eat?" Beelzebub asked slowly and both smiled together, Dagon gagging as one after the other explained, "Well Lig here smelled them out first!"

"It was my Pet who Stalked them down!"

"We confused them enough to lead them here, Ligur ending one with such a clean bite, Satan I'm sure would be proud!"

"Then Hastur sliced through the seconds neck and it bellowed smoke like a chimney, the smell just, FUCK that smell!"

"Smeeeeell?" Beelzebub asked and the two nodded. "Skunky!"

"Made the heat ten times more floaty!"

"Eating them, just, just… It MUST have been what being TRUE Angel's should have been~" Hastur breathed and Ligur nuzzled his mate warmly along the side.

"Anything left by chance?" Beelzebub asked as behind them Dagon tried clawing their way back to Hell with their bare claws.

"Hell ya! We couldn't eat all of them in one go, as much as we wanted to!" Ligur spoke deeply and lead his Lord with Hastur close beside him towards the bodies left over.

Their bellies were gone, their brains, their veins.

But their bodily smell and TONGUES!

Beelzebub tore one off, neither male caring their Lord didn't ask and watched as they sniffed the muscle then taste it.

They jerked backwards pulling a face and then looked to their most violent Duke's before looking back to the tongue and concluding, "Pot!"

"That is a tongue, my Disgusting Lord~" Dagon explained as they gave up digging to follow their Lord.

Beelzebub gave a slow look to Dagon before stating, "Weed, Pot, Marijuana!"

"Gesundheit, my Lord~" Dagon smiled politely, trying to seem like they understood.

Beelzebubs ears lowered before sighing and said as if giving a PowerPoint presentation, Hastur and Ligur and what they'd done the results found, "Yesterday was the day of LOOOOVE, correct?"

Dagon nodded. Hastur and Ligur just sat there calmly, sunning themselves, enjoying the afternoon air.

"Some humans since the dawn of time have tried plants as a means of relaxation. Case and point, this in which these mortals have smoked and ingested during their day yesterday."

"In their heat, to fuel it or what-have-you, Hastur and Ligur Stalked and Hunted these two seeing how placid and calm they were, an easy kill, an easy feed to get to their nights main goal of mating!"

"They didn't know they'd been smoking and eating said plant, either never coming into contact or forgetting and thus the high of eating them belly, brain, and viens, gained their own ecstasy from the plants-Judging by BOTH mortals said parts missing they skipped dinner and hit dessert, they are stoned!"

As Beelzebub spoke, the two Duke's just yawned or scratched randomly, shifted to laying more comfortably in the sun, uncaring, not listening. Their night had been amazing, their bodies COURSED with such life that they felt they could overthrow God Herself even SATAN and become the rulers of Heaven and Hell respectively. The conversation they shared as they made love for the third time last night about how they'd be better rulers proved a heavy hitter that made both want more of each other, if that was physically possible!

"So their literally… Stupid?" Dagon asked with a smirk, rather proud of this until their Lord mused back with a small wave of their hand, turning away, "No, the opposite really, it opens gates in the mind often closed. Grants ideas never thought of, I'm sure if they didn't want to fuck each other again they'd have that going for them in the meeting right now."

"The heat is over, Lord! Shouldn't they be done? Shouldn't we bring them ba-"

There had been a reason their Lord had begun to leave, been a reason they said what they did-Dagon instantly regretted looking towards the two to question them on their motives for not coming back to Hell for the meeting to use their 'open minds' to hatch ideas!

Like wild animals, Ligur was gently licking the nape of Hasturs neck, Hasturs whole body bristled with bumps of pleasure and lowering himself down for his partner.

"Can't we stop them?" Dagon asked with disbelief as Ligur took a heavy lizard like bite hold upon Hasturs neck next and the skinny Demon groaned hotly under his built partner.

"Go ahead, Dagon, try to~" Beelzebub whispered at the striken faced other and snorted as their right hand Duke gagged and spun around about faced and charged ahead as Hastur mewled Ligurs name as Ligur himself shoved him into the dirty Earthen floor below.

Whether the two knew about Pot and did this on purpose or by accident, there was really NO stopping the two from their actions until they burnt out.

Until then, Dagon would have to hear forever no matter how hard they tried the roar of Ligur above Hastur in dominance whilst Hastur cried out as he was begged once more by his beloved mate once more~

End Notes:

The stone mausoleum is a well forgotten and in ruin structure. Ages and ages of unkempt forest, lawns, headstones, and lanes have made the whole area well and forgotten, legend says the land itself is haunted and thus keeps peepers away. To those stupid enough to venture in are meals for the Duke's Hastur and Ligur.

Inside the stone mausoleum in the furthest reaches is a place called the Duke's called the Hole. The Hole is the only place safe from the weather's elements. Dry, the temperature is even, comfort is permanent. The rest of the said structure is moldy, damp, cold, dark, unwelcoming to any who's stupid enough to go inside.

The stone resting slot above has long been emptied of its owner to make way for the Duke's to rest after a job well done or a dance of heat well spent. The stone slab spacious enough for both males to lay curled together or sprawled out contently

Above in the resting slot is packed with an array of soft bedding from pillows to blankets to the very clothes from the mortals they've killed to the animals furs and feathers they've hunted down. The bedding itself sifted through to their liking and filed through during seasons for freshness.

Beings of aura sense get a heavy punch in the face with the scents of not one but TWO strong ranked entities, any who aren't wise enough to turn away and pass the unseen border mark, are well and lost and added to the body collection in the Earth below.

Trinkets like shines, necklaces, bracelets, and rings hang from the ceiling, only colored stones that match the colors Hastur likes of Ligurs eyes. Bones from ribs to teeth, skulls to spines like the shines hang from above, skinned, defeathered, or defurred by Ligur with pride, admired by Hastur as they lay in comfort for a spell in the slot.

It was never common for Demons to literally treasure things, not unheard of, but for such violent angry Duke's, it just seemed odd. 

In Hell they seemed only to proud to kill and maim, but Above? It seemed not just Crowley was growing to enjoy human like things. Maybe not things like cars or fashion, but objects of comfort and admiredment weren't that far off it seemed from his Native ways!

The Hole proved it just as Crowley's Bentley and his flat, his clothes, and his looks did!

Hastur and Ligur may have begun to go Native in their own way-And now their Lord knew-!


End file.
